Remember when I asked that we make it through the last week of school without any more COVID high jinks? Well. I was getting ready to head off into town to take class and maybe watch a movie on my suddenly plan-free Christmas when I got a text from Yana. “One of the fifth graders tested positive. You will need to get a COVID test.” That would be my third COVID test in a week, and my sixth since November. The irony was that I didn’t actually teach that fifth grader because I had to miss the first two periods at my travel school while waiting on COVID test results…

Here I am at midnight typing on my old tablet. In a rerun episode of my younger years, I have been struck by a period of insomnia. When I was in elementary school, I spent hours every night waiting for sleep to come. Like a rat that’s sussed out the trap, it never did. Every night it took me nearly two hours to fall asleep, or more– and this was before the age of smartphones. There was nothing keeping me awake save my own body clock. Later, when I was a bit older, I would sneak into the den, pour myself a bowl of bacon bits, and watch Iron Chef…

On Saturday I had to get a COVID test. Last Sunday I had to get a COVID test. Two weeks before that I had a test, and a week before that, you guessed it, I had a test. This week I thought I might have finally escaped the streak of bad luck but I was wrong. “Did you see the emergency alert today? If you went to this cafe you have to get a test. One of the employees tested positive.” As I had to drive from Busan back to Jinhae for the test on Saturday, and then cancel my dinner plans to quarantine at home for 18 hours for…

Last weekend over dinner, Helen proposed setting me up on a blind date with her personal trainer. “Not to brag but the last two couples I set up got married,” she bragged. I’m willing to try anything once, and at least these people have been vetted by someone I know. “Sure,” I agreed. And then, of course, who did we run into while leaving the restaurant? “This is my PT,” Helen said, gripping tightly onto my arm as if we had been drinking alcohol rather than coffee. She gestured to a trio of men. “Hi,” he said, in a cute way I didn’t expect to come from someone 6’4” and…

With the new and unpredictable threat of omicron, my plans have yet again been tossed like a salad. Will the temporary quarantine be extended? Will this stamp out deadlier strains? Will I get to travel again? Will Elon Musk shave that terrible thing off his head? I can’t put all my hopes into one basket though I desperately want to think the end is near. Imagine, seeing my family! A weekend trip to Thailand! Running without a mask! People watching in cafes! Seeing the faces of my students! I had sixth grade today and concluded, without the persuasion of 6-5, that I love my sixth graders so much and will…

“Today is my birthday,” self-named fourth grader Mr. Pickle informed me in the hallway before class. After getting the kids settled once class began I announced Mr. Pickle’s birthday and we all sang to him, my kids surprisingly busting out a perfect English chorus. As for Mr. Pickle, he immediately burst into tears. This only made the students sing louder. The homeroom teacher paused reading her novel in the back corner to whip out her phone and record him, presumably to send to his parents. I assume they were happy, surprised tears because his classmates wouldn’t be so cruel as to serenade him in distress. After we finished, someone asked…

Today was the mandatory debate festival. One school didn’t even show up, so at least we got them beat! Three girls and my other son, Boy 3, came to a high school in Masan at the end of the world for the culminating debate festival. I was assigned to judge video presentations from far away schools and a few live presentations that were set up like a science fair, foam boards included. The video presentations. Well, bless their hearts, they did what they could but my goodness did they lack pizazz. They had been prerecorded and as many as five individual student speeches were included in one school’s video, which…

The school week is back in full swing. Not only that but starting at the end of next month we are transitioning back to the pre-COVID timetable with 40 minute classes and ten minute breaks, due to parent demand. I’m excited for an extra five minutes to drill phonics or writing, but not quite sure what to do with myself for ten minutes between classes. In every grade at my big school, about once a chapter I have the kids write a short dialogue using the target sentences. The note of interest, however, is that I encourage them to write as crazy as possible. Today, I gave the fourth graders…

On Monday the school received notice that one of the fourth graders tested positive for Covid. The health center quickly mobilized and after I finished teaching sixth grade, I suppose because why cancel classes if we are all already here, all 900 students and 100 faculty were tested by 2:30. Then we were all sent home with a warning not to go out and wait for the test results. Sitting in bed with my laptop trying to put together an online class for the sixth grade classes I didn’t see, I suddenly got a call which I ignored. My phone lit up again and I begrudgingly answered. It was the…

After class I wandered around looking for a suitable restaurant to no avail— the gukbap place had no open seats and nothing in the many blocks I weeded through was particularly appealing. Until I came upon a new salad restaurant. It looked crowded so I swerved into the department store to browse discount sweaters and creep on the restaurant’s Instagram page for more info. The prices were cheap, cheaper than most places nearby, and it was one of the few healthy options nestled between university student friendly options like grilled cheese and fried pork cutlet. There were several pictures of two different men scattered around the social media account and…