Figuring it was Friday and I would simply shower at the gym, I rolled into school with a barely dressed up shirt and unwashed hair. But the universe is a trickster. “Are you free tonight? I can take you to pick up your dry cleaning and tailoring and then we can eat dinner with my son.” MJ proposed at 8:30AM. You know I’m never one to turn down a meal, though I had strong second thoughts when I felt my greasy roots. Guess I’ll just slather myself in hand lotion and hope the smell of Korean spices will hide the rest! She and I made it through the day and…

A tittering came from one corner of a fifth grade classroom. “Teacher,” informed one girl student, “this boy said he’s a cute girl.” The boy in question stuck to his principles with an “I said what I said” shrug. Note that week later, he would pretend to be a chicken and manage to do all his work with only his elbows sticking out of his T-shirt sleeves. The other kids started giggling at his mistake. “So he wants to be a cute girl? Okay, that’s fine. Hello, cute girl.” I said, playing along. Hi wiggled his shoulders while the a potential rising tide of mean-edged chatter loomed on the horizon.…

Inevitably, every time I speak to a first or second grader in Korean, this exchange happens: “안녕하세요,” the student says while bowing. “안녕,” I reply, in appropriate casual speech. I continue walking past the student. A moment passes, and then I hear the chaos unfold as the student reports back to the class or surrounding peers. “Was that the English teacher?” “The English teacher speaks Korean!” “But isn’t she a foreigner?” “But Koreans speak Korean. So is she Korean?” Their chatter continues. I don’t turn around. Cool guys don’t look at explosions.

“선생님, 선생님 팬이에요.” Teacher, I’m your fan, Several fourth grader girls while gathering around me in the hallway during break “I’ve only had two students who’ve ever reached true native speaker level. I think you could be the third.” My Busan Korean teacher, once upon a time “You should try doing a fitness competition.” My personal trainer, before making me do leg curls until I wanted to cry “If you do a fitness competition I’ll come watch.” MJ “I’m really impressed with your teaching skills.” Fourth grade homeroom teacher, after unbeknownst to her I had to retool my lesson on the fly “Wow, she’s so cool.” Fifth grade students after…