• 5. 2023, The Wild Wild West

    Meet-dupe

    I didn’t know what to expect from my handsome gym stranger. Would he text? He did, about thirty minutes after I got home. I looked at his profile, a photo of him on stage, and his background, a photo of him and his family, and promptly burst into tears. Deep down I had expected him to be another catfish, or another weirdo, or another narcissistic playboy looking to “experience” a foreign woman, and the unexpected relief made me cry. Dating in Korea has done a number on me. We texted back and forth and I learned that he was a musical theater actor. He lived with his family and had…

  • 5. 2023, The Wild Wild West

    Meet-cute

    On a low-key Saturday evening, I finished up at the gym and threw on my clothes: baggy cargo pants and a men’s denim jacket. I headed to the gym doors but suddenly spotted a handsome stranger at the water fountain. He was tall with big, expressive eyes and we made eye contact over his water bottle in what felt like an electric moment. Well, that was nice, but nothing will come from it because this is Korea, I concluded, leaving and crossing the street. Until I heard a voice in Korean say, “Excuse me.” I turned around. It was him. He must have set down his water bottle and rushed…

  • 5. 2023, The Wild Wild West

    Sound the alarm

    After weeks of pesky insomnia, I vowed to lie down early. Just as I had finished my nightly routine and turned out all the lights, I heard a commotion on the street below. “Come out!” came a woman’s voice. The area where I live is not particularly famous for its safety so I assumed this woman was calling out someone to fight. I’ve seen stranger things in my neighborhood. But the rustling and yelling continued so I grudgingly wiggled off my fold-out mattress to peep out the window. I was shocked to see that everyone in my apartment building had gathered in their pajamas in the street. Is this… is…

  • 5. 2023, The Wild Wild West

    Gutter disappointment

    SNU, Seoul National University, is lauded as the top university in Korea. For those outside of East Asia, it’s hard to convey the intensity of competition here. Students spend their entire lives trying to get into SNU, and if not, Korea University or Yonsei. With the name of a SKY university behind them, they can earn a spot at one of the huge conglomerates with a guaranteed high salary or they can even become president. The perceived gap between SKY and other universities is so large, however, that many employers won’t even look at a resume if it’s not from SKY. Going to a fifth-ranked school is about the same…

  • 5. 2023, The Wild Wild West

    September 23, Between us

    In a CU near downtown Ulsan as I was juggling a protein drink and several granola bars, a preschool boy ran past the floor to ceiling windows. He stopped and looked at me on one side of the glass. I stopped and looked at him from the other. After a moment, I smiled at him with an over-exaggerated, teeth-revealing, silly expression. He did the same back to me and then ran away. I stood laughing to myself in between packets of crackers and bags of chips. After purchasing my breakfast items, I exited through the side door, curious as to where my little friend went. I assumed that he was…

  • 4.2 Fall 2022

    February 20, A win

    I went into The Beautiful Store (a Korean Goodwill type chain) with the intention of buying matching plates but the $4 charge per each turned me away from the dinnerware and toward the clothes. I ended up bringing a purse, cardigan, and powder blue blazer to the cashier, a tall young woman with bleached hair styled like 1950s Barbie. While she was calling for her manager, I noticed a cut in the shape of a ring on her finger. A much older man appeared and the three of us stared at each other. “Is… there a problem?” I asked in Korean. The young woman let out an impressed gasp. “I’m…

  • 5. 2023, The Wild Wild West

    In the name of suffering

    Every hike I’ve ever done in Korea has ended with me wondering in despair if I have irreparably damaged my knee cartilage. As I struggled through another hike in an attempt to touch grass and see some green in the concrete jungle, I thought about how these trails parallel Korean society. There are no walking mountain trails in Korea. All go in a straight grueling line directly to the highest point. Hikers are expected to endure the grinding of their patellas as they crawl to the top. Suffering is not optional, it’s required. The first time I went on a hike here I was distraught, not only because I was…

  • 4.2 Fall 2022

    Hexes for Exes

    Do you remember Anthony? My travel school comrade, the outgoing male teacher, expert volleyball spiker, fighter of restaurant robots, English enthusiast? Yes? Well, he’s dead to me. To explain this saga, I need to line up some details. First, the characters: Anthony: male homeroom teacher at my travel school Jisoo: young female homeroom teacher at my travel school. She, her friend, and I all went out for burgers once. David: Anthony’s friend and male teacher at a different elementary school As of typing this, I have worked at my travel school every Wednesday for almost the past two years. I occasionally play volleyball with the other teachers and greet Jisoo…

  • 4.2 Fall 2022

    Twinning

    I sat on a bench outside of the Lotte Cinema when I heard someone call for me. Two fourth grade girls ran up to my side, huffing in their haste and excitement. I should have guessed they were fourth grade; my older students are too surly to chase me down me the street. One was a girl in purple with a new bobbed haircut. Once she caught her breath, she and her friend giggled too much to say anything. I made out that they were en route to the supermarket. “What will you buy?” I asked in Korean. More giggles. “Pizza? Cake? Steak?!” They giggled more and shook their heads.…

  • 4.2 Fall 2022,  Favorites

    December 3, Haunted House

    “I thought you were going to China.” Jiji, my friend’s wife, said. “Well, when was the last time I saw you? 2019? Yeah, COVID changed a lot of things.” I replied. The last time I had seen Jiji and Kyuri was Christmas 2019. I had made play-dough food items with the kids at the party from a horizontal position on the floor. Another nasty head cold had knocked me out. B.C. Before COVID, I thought. Back in 2017 I started teaching Chinese students online. It had continued as my longest running side job until China squeezed the throat of private English industry and forced nearly every company bankrupt. I didn’t…