Usually, being polite is sufficient to convince people to be a little patient with my mediocre Korean skills. That’s not always the case, though. The seemingly endless back and forth I’ve had with immigration regarding my online visa renewal application has been a headache. No matter how many times I call the immigration hot line, the other officers in Changwon reviewing my application find new ways to torture me. I mean, new documents I must scrounge up and submit. I had already started an online renewal application, but wanted to gather everything possible in case I did need to go to immigration in person. Helen had left for vacation, Jack…

If you don’t know by now, there’s a certain class of person in Korea called 아저씨 “ajusshi”. This term is usually what you can politely called a much older man that you don’t know. But of course, calling a young man or a man who thinks he is young by this term can be insulting. These men have their own stereotype. They are usually gruff, big smokers, big drinkers, impatient, and a big fan of fishing vests. I’ve met many a man who fit this category perfectly. They are the men that I usually fight with the most. They might also be the men that are the most helpful, like…

Jack, I, and all other contract employees have to submit a yearly health check to school. The test includes tuberculosis, HIV, and drugs. As if it’s even possible to get drugs in Korea. Marijauna use carries heavier penalties than assault. I was nervous because it meant going to a Korean hospital that I don’t know. As you’re well aware, I can either have a wholly positive experience, or a terrible, tear-inducing experience. Or today, I found out I can have both! Helen warned me before leaving that Korea has changed the COVID testing procedure given the uptick in omicron cases. As a result, anyone with symptoms is required to get…

I had plans to meet S but due a death in the family, she had to travel south for the funeral. My plans to meet H, long lost 2019 H, finally solidified. The last time I saw her she was pregnant with her first, and now she has two little ones. She picked me up from the massive train station. I use the term “pick up” liberally, as she met me in the main hall with her double-seater stroller. Her toddler was in school so there was only one occupant in the massive stroller. Her daughter, only 8 months old, stared at me with disdain. We wound through the alleys…

The only constant is change. A friend from Busan and I took a weeklong trip to Seoul, for skiing and reminiscing. Our ski day was lovely and I finally accomplished my old bucket list goal of laying in the snow and making a snow angel. As usual, Koreans around me ignored my strange antics. Even though we were exhausted and sweaty and shivering, grilled meat called our name. I pulled up Naver map and directed us to the closest barbeque joint near the hotel. A young woman rushed to the sliding doors and asked if we had a reservation. A reservation for a barbecue place on a Tuesday? “No.” “I’m…

If you’re wondering how things are going with the navy guy: I kindly rejected him and he followed up with multiple videos of himself in a sparkly vest and fedora unironically singing trot love songs. “Because you said you like trot.” Me: I cannot make this up. Bless his heart. And bless MY heart for the unstoppable clown parade that is my life. I reached out to my Korean teacher who I had told about the coffee date earlier. “Is this Korean dating culture or is this… something else?” I inquired. I sent her screenshots. He had sent a slew of additional messages saying he intended to just be my…

Here’s the thing: as great as it might be to get your confession off your chest, you have actually not considered the burden you place on the receiver. So I went out to coffee with the navy guy. Recall that the first words I ever had with him were just a few days prior, where he essentially asked me out in an elevator. The date was. A lot. When I first pulled up to the cafe, which seemed entirely too romantic for a place serving only a basic coffee menu, I felt relieved and a little touched to see him standing outside waiting. He kindly bought our drinks and we…

I went out to brunch with Helen and her mother, who had never met a foreigner before. I quickly realized why I never speak Korean to Helen despite speaking it to most everyone else. “You said it wrong,” she crowed delightedly over her shrimp pizza, not for the first time since we tucked in. Her mother spoke quickly and with a strong regional accent which had me asking for repeats and answering the wrong questions. I felt myself grow quiet like a kid who got lectured. “You have to say future tense not past tense,” she said, repeating back exactly what I had said. Helen, this is why I don’t…

As I was stretching after my Saturday workout, I watched a man in the mirror do an interesting set of yoga moves that I mentally added to my list of exercises to try at home in privacy. I didn’t think of it again and went to take a shower, then exited the gym to stuff all my body wash and lotion back in my locker. The yoga man was lingering by the elevator and I hesitated. Should I take the stairs? Should I wait for the next elevator? He seemed to be dallying. Ah, screw it. Who am I if not an instigator? I joined him in the elevator. He…