3.4 Winter 2021-2022

January 16, Clowning myself

If you’re wondering how things are going with the navy guy:

I kindly rejected him and he followed up with multiple videos of himself in a sparkly vest and fedora unironically singing trot love songs.

“Because you said you like trot.”


I cannot make this up.

Bless his heart. And bless MY heart for the unstoppable clown parade that is my life.

I reached out to my Korean teacher who I had told about the coffee date earlier.

“Is this Korean dating culture or is this… something else?” I inquired. I sent her screenshots.

He had sent a slew of additional messages saying he intended to just be my friend anyway and could he call me and also could he give me these other gifts he bought and could we meet tomorrow. There was also a missed call. I had war flashbacks to Busan Boy.

Never in my life have I had this reaction to a rejection. But I guess there’s always time to learn something new…?

At this point there were probably fifteen messages in a row, including the cursed videos which absolutely did me in: what sane man gets a rejection and then thinks, I can turn this all around with show tunes.

I’m really curious what his friends were saying during all this.

“I just want to be your friend. Can you give me another chance?” He wrote. Another chance at what?

This was outside of my wheelhouse. It wasn’t even on my property. I debated what to do with a friend while waiting for my teacher’s wisdom.

It came and it was glorious. A perfect bouquet of compliments, truth, carrot and stick, and boundary setting.

“Tell him this: you seem like a nice person. I also want to be your friend. But when you pressure me it’s really difficult to be your friend. Give me a chance to get to know you.”

I bedazzled it and added some extra nuance about American culture and texting and he seemed to finally understand. No messages since.

Unfortunately, I’ll still see him at the gym during the evenings, hence all this diplomacy.

Gah! Why didn’t I say no the first time??

If the situation escalates to a threat, I’ll alert the beefy body building manager to please keep an eye on him for me.

But here is my main takeaway: I think the universe wanted desperately to tell me “stop saying yes out of obligation! Start saying no and meaning it!”

And starting now? I’ll listen!

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